THIS is my life.

My life has been chaotic lately. And when I say "my life", I am referring to my dating life. In the past year, I've had several three-week-long relationships, which have led me to believe that I am like cheese: I have a three-week expiration date. Once that date has been reached, you toss it (me. I am the cheese...the cheese stands alone.) out without a second glance.

Now, I'm not one to complain, but this is completely unreasonable for the following reasons:
1. I am amazing. I am driven, work hard in school, know what I want to do with my life, and have an uncanny ability to make people laugh (including myself).
2. I'm cute as a button, if I do say so myself.
3. I don't treat people like garbage.
4. DID I MENTION I AM AMAZING??

My dismay at the most recent disappointment led one of my aunts to draw up some "dating rules" for me (apparently I'm too nice). They are as follows:

New Relationship Rules by Mary

Lesson 1- If they don't call you to confirm plans at least six hours before, don't go out with them. Never ask them if you're still on. If they don't mention it, don't you...act like you forgot and DO NOT answer your phone or go online as yourself so that they can see you're at home. Either go out someplace where they might be and act like you're having the time of your life or stay home and watch tv. Also see Lesson 3.

Lesson 2-Never be the first to call. Call/text them once for every two/three times they call you. Don't answer every text immediately, wait a few hours...You want him to think you have a life.

Lesson 3-Create alternate login, use when you don't want people to know you're online.

Lesson 4- Update your My Space info so it looks like you're going out, even if you're hiding out with some Ben and Jerry's.

Lesson 5-Never let them see you cry. Don't give them that power over you. You get to decide who makes you upset, not them.

Meg's take on Mary's dating rules

Okay. Number one is the type of thing I wish I could do, but never would. I'm a phone lurker. I wait and wait and wait for someone to call, and if they don't...I just curl up with a book and go to bed. The good part here is that a book has never broken my heart. The bad part is that they're not as warm and cuddly as a good boyfriend.

Number two? I kind of do some of this. I never ever call first. But I do answer messages the second I read them, because otherwise I will forget to answer altogether.

Number three is kind of creepy and internet-stalkerish, but it made me giggle.

Number four sounds like something I've done before.

And number five is one of my main things that I try for. Family and friends can see me cry, but not guys who I hope to have a relationship with. Mostly because I'm vain and don't want them to see me with mascara all over my face and snot dripping out of my nose, not because I don't want them to feel like they have power over me.

So that's my life right now. I hate being single, but I am resigned to the fact that this is the way it will be for a while. And I guess I have to be okay with that.